Which Entourage Character Are You?

Which Entourage Character Are You?
	You are Eric. You are the executive, the suit. You know what the grand strategy is, you understand what is needed of you, and you execute. Most people tend to underestimate you, but you deliver quite a surprise. Your hard work and natural abilities provide you with the confidence to step up to the plate when it is required of you. Although you aren't the All-Star of the group, you are the Manager entrusted with confidently calling the shots.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Friends Character Are You?

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are part Rachel. You're very selfish and pay great attention to image. Spoiled when you were young, you were always the popular and snobbish kid. Although you hang on to your adolescent attributes, you grow more responsible every year.
	You are part Phoebe. You're the weird kid with odd habits. Most people don't know it, but you're kinky in bed. Your childhood memories aren't your best, but why do you care? There's plenty of time to make up for your lost childhood now that you're an adult.
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The Soul Exists!

"It would be wrong to say that the soul is an illusion, or an ideological effect. On the contrary, it exists, it has reality, it is produced permanently around, on, within the body by the functioning of power that is exercised on those punished—and in a more general way, on those one supervises, trains and corrects over madmen, children at home and at school, the colonized, over those who are stuck at a machine and supervised for the rest of their lives."

Discipline & Punish: The Birth of the Prison (1975: 29)
Michel Foucault

well..

From: Wulan's Story

Their words are only make believe
'cause even perfection bleeds
through crackled imagery
The terrifying feeling
when all good intentions fail
(Amandine, For All Marbles)


History always has its classic part, something considered as a benchmark. It might not be repeated in the same way though but the substance remains the same. We call it as a more humane way. Let’s say that in the so-called primitive era, people used to sacrifice the weak human being like baby or somebody’s daughter to worship invisible power, paying homage to a nowhere ancestors. In a more modern way, we might refer to what happened to Marie Antoinette ..well this might not be a compatible reference but we all remember her as a genuine spoiled brat ever existed. We seldom remember how she lost her life once her mother trapped her in an arranged marriage. It was a huge crisis and people needed someone to blame for what happened. She had become an evil icon, satanic version of human, an over-indulgent-woman who had an endless desire to please herself. The fact that it was her only way to escape from reality, as people around her felt that they owned her body, thought and life as a whole has been considered merely a drama, a sparkle of spice powder to bring some taste to a juicy story. Nobody has ever thought it as a point that mattered most. The day she was sent to guillotine, people clapped their hands. The day she was beheaded off was a symbolic celebration to end a collective misery of people.

So what’s the lesson of this?

I have learned since then that every difficult situation requires someone to blame and to point finger at. Everyone claims that they have been hurt. Too bad, they do not even bother to know that I also get hurt as much as they do. Someone asked me how I feel, if only I could express it verbally, I would tell out loud how I feel like having bruises all over my body, badly battered, feeling that the world has turned against me and shattered.

I know how it feels to be so dependent, indecisive not because I could not make up my mind but I lived under one’s control and property and homeless. I just never thought that my life could be so annoying for others. Well then people are manipulative. In order to feel right, they make others feel guilty. In order to feel good, they make others feel bad. It’s a primitive game yet an everlasting one. People sacrifice someone to make them look as if they were the better ones. I might owe much to people I have met and spent time with along my life, I just know that I will find a way to pay back my debt but not with my life. Another lesson is that we do not have to be bad to be considered bad and we do not have to be cruel to be considered cruel. People, again, happily put those stamps in our faces once we dare to refuse to be part of automaton conformity. Just wanna break free and disappear....

Kepala Tiga

Menjalani 2 x 24 jam pertama berkepala tiga, belum banyak hal baru yang gw rasakan. Kaki gw seperti masih terantai di masa lalu. Gw masih menghadapi masalah yang itu-itu juga. Well, ternyata benar, age is just number. Banyak hal yang gw rencanakan. Banyak idealisasi yang berusaha gw wujudkan, tetapi kayanya semua masih semu. Masih jauh banget rasanya dari sebuah dermaga tempat berlabuh dalam perjalanan mencari jati diri. Padahal sudah usia begini tua... Hahaha... It's a heck of a place to find yourself.

Sebenarnya gw sudah paham bahwa bagaimanapun bukan apa yang tersimpan di lapisan kognisi gw itu nggak ada artinya. Seperti kata Rachel Dawes di Batman Begins, "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

Jadi masalah besarnya adalah di diri gw sendiri. Gw harus mampu membangun something that will define me. Sudah nggak cukup cuma membangun pemahaman dan pemikiran, sekarang waktunya bertindak. Sementara rutinitas sudah mengikat kaki gw dan melahirkan keterbatasan baru. Gw sekarang harus berani mendobraknya. I cannot blame it on my youth lagi. I'm no longer twentysomething and I have to prove it.

Entah kenapa gw sangat menganggap besar perkara memasuki kepala 3 ini. Gw merasa bahwa gw sangat ketinggalan dari apa yang seharusnya. Sampai hari gini, gw masih krisis prestasi. Ada sesuatu yang jelas-jelas butuh perspektif baru dari dalam diri gw. Perspektif yang lebih condong ke action. Sesuatu yang akan membuat gw akan lebih ada. There must be some easier way for me to get my wings.